Just Needed the Proper Motivation

So I've been in a bit of a blog slump lately...and yeah I've had a lot going on but it's really no excuse. I've written many a blog in my head and even have a few in my blogger account in the "Drafted" status...

But today something happened that I just had to write about. And for those who have been following my travails (TY BTW!), it should come as no surprise that it relates to another run-in at a local business. And this time I'm naming names!!!

To give you a little background on the story, this summer I suffered the relative tragedy of watching my second hookah break before my eyes. And it was a most beautiful hookah!!

Anyways, weeks ago, I came up with the idea of getting a replacement base. This idea seemed more like a reality after checking my favorite online hookah retailer (http://www.smoking-hookah.com/). However, before placing an order online, I first tried to support the local economy. There's a store in the South End (Syrian Grocery Importing Co., Inc.) that prominently displays a large hookah (among other things) in the window so I went in one day and inquired if they had replacement bases in-stock or if they'd be able to order me one. After much unnecessary commotion, I was advised that they occasionally have spare parts and that it's a hit-or-miss proposition. They called in the resident hookah-supply expert from the back, who located a spare base. I very quickly saw that this base was way too small for my hookah's shaft (TWSS!). They suggested I bring my hookah but I knew there was no need. They asked me to check back after a few weeks and re-try my luck.

Fast forward to today. My replacement base is already en route, but given my ill-fated history with hookahs, I think it would be wise to have a back-up replacement on hand. So I go back to SGIC,Inc. and remind them that I'm looking for a replacement base if they currently have any in-stock. After advising them that I did not bring my hookah with me, I'm shocked to hear one of them mutter, "who would try to buy the base without bringing the hookah?" Well I guess that would be me, the guy who knows how big his hookah is because I've personally seen it and have held it in my hands. I also am the guy that is willing to purchase one, should I be so lucky that you actually have one!! So I let that comment go unchecked and wait for them to make the call to the bullpen. Out comes the expert again from the back who asks if I brought my hookah with me. I gesture with my hands to indicate the size of the hookah and assure him that if I see a base, I will know if it's the right size and have no problems committing to purchase it. He responds by saying they don't have any in-stock. Immediately afterward, one of them chimes in that they normally come as part of a set and they don't usually have spare parts. Ironically, it was the same guy that questioned why someone would look for a base without bringing their hookah...I am completely and utterly flabbergasted!! And it takes quite a lot to flabbergast me!!!

Was it too difficult to cut my visit short by about 5 minutes and say you don't have any in-stock at the moment? If I had made the mistake of bringing in my hookah so the three of them could have each personally attested to it's size, (should I ever need to subpoena them in a potential missing hookah case) would a base have magically appeared in-stock? Or do you have some inside bet going amongst the employees whereby the challenge is to see how long you can keep a customer engaged, whilst not having the product they are clearly, obviously, and exclusively looking for?

My point is, if you don't have any in-stock, why waste my time asking me questions? The Closer didn't go in the back to confirm if they had any left, he knew it. So I blame him for wasting my time.

Sad thing is, having gone inside this establishment now a couple times, I noticed some things I would come back for. But since I think the place is swarming with jackasses, I'll go find some other Syrian importing company to purchase my gourmet and ethnic foods from.

Rule # 89. Don't patronize me when I'm looking to patronize your establishment!!

Holla if ya Hear me!!

Tuttafucco Quirks #22 thru #25

I've never been a fan of celebrating Hallmark holidays. Instead, I celebrate things that make me feel like an individual. Many would refer to such nuances as Quirks, so in an effort to willingly succumb to the masses, I will do the same.

nb: Alanis thinks it's Ironic that in an effort to demonstrate my individuality, I am, at least in part, succumbing to the masses... and now back to our regularly scheduled program...

Quirk #22: Cash vs. Credit

In my opinion, very few transactions require the use of cash. Many of these transactions are dictated by establishments (or vendors) that simply don't accept credit. As a result, when I see the sticker that denotes that Visa and/or MasterCard are acceptable tender, I not only peruse with greater confidence but I'm also more likely to spend larger sums of money.

Experts would suggest that I concern myself with the potential interest and additional costs incurred over time as I pay off the balance on my credit card(s). But if there's one thing I've learned, you gotta use credit to build credit. So like Betty and Wilma, I chaaaaaaaaaaarge it. And when my balances get out of hand, I simply switch gears and focus on paying off instead of spending. Going through cycles like these has kept me out of financial ruin (to date), and every couple years I'm rewarded (in a sense) with increased credit lines and increased buying power.

Quirk #23: Do it Yourself

There are many things in this world I enjoy having people do for me, but pumping my gas is not one of them. And it's not because I don't trust the guy to give me the amount of gas I asked for. Sometimes I just don't want to commit to purchasing a specific amount of gas. I like to reserve the right to change my mind mid-pump, in case I suddenly realize that I'm no longer in the mood to fill 'er up. There are times when I basically want to put in just enough gas to get me to another station where I know I can find a better deal on the Petrol.

Quirk #24: Can I Get a Receipt?

As you never know when a credit card charge needs to be disputed, I've found that having a copy of the receipt handy, often expedites the dispute process ( in addition to saving you the occasional embarrassment of disputing a legitimate charge). Problem is, sometimes when I press 'YES' for a receipt at the pump, I'm instructed to go inside and obtain the receipt from the cashier. For some reason, I just refuse to do this. I wouldn't consider this laziness, but really a conscious choice to use my time wisely when possible. And when I consider the time spent walking inside, probably having to wait in line, versus the actual likelihood of needing that receipt, it doesn't seem worth it. If I could write-off gas purchases as an expense for work, I'd probably feel differently about this, but since I can't, I don't...

Quirk #25: No Thanks! I'll pass

One day a couple weeks ago, I was in an inexplicable mood for a double burger with cheese and some of the Nuggets you don't have to travel to Denver for. So I wandered my way to the Golden Arches for lunch. On the day in question, I just so happened to not have any small bills on me. (Please don't confuse this with bragging on my part but simply a statement of fact about this particular afternoon as I was preparing for a large, "cash-only" transaction ;). Being without small bills should not have been an issue, as most fast food joints accept credit/debit cards. But as my recent luck would have it, those machines weren't functional that day. So, rather than pull a Chris Rock a la I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, purchasing a couple items off the Dollar Menu before I ask them if they "got change for a hundred?", I walk out and find another fine dining establishment for lunch. Part of it is not wanting to be told they don't accept $100 bills (I tried to tell Biggie - It's Not All About the Benjamins!!). But more importantly, there's just something about buying items off the Dollar Menu and getting $96 as my "change" that just rubs me the wrong way... like I'm misusing what the Dollar Menu was intended for... And for the record, I felt the same way when I was a young and refused to purchase penny candy with anything larger than a five spot (and even then I'd buy enough for the whole block!!)

Now I don't mention these things to say that I'm the only with these types of odd tendencies... I just think there are very few people out there that would share the same approach or opinion as me on most of these issues...

Holla if ya Hear me