Apparently, Fear is a Factor

Let me start by stating that I'm far from the poster-boy for Courage. In fact, that should be reserved for everyday heroes like firemen and police officers that don't make a habit of shooting unarmed civilians. Admittedly, I've been known to be a little squeamish in certain situations, but that doesn't mean my heart pumps Slushie. My point is, there aren't many things in this world that truly frighten me. Last night, I encountered one of these rare things, and let me tell you, it was not a pleasant experience.

It all started on my way home last night when I heard the beep indicating that I have approximately 20 miles of gas before the needle is perfectly in line with the "E". As I was about 25 miles away from my house at the time, I knew I'd be cutting it close. So I applied a little extra pressure to the gas pedal to increase my Miles Per Gallon (while obeying posted speed limits limits of course!) Although I could've stopped at any number of gas stations just off the highway, I know of one a couple miles from my house that consistently has the best price on gas. As I exited the highway, the indicator read 0 MILES LEFT, but I didn't worry, as I knew there's enough in reserves to get me to the gas station.

The only drawback to this station is that you can't pay at the pump. I often wonder if this is what enables them to undercut the competition's prices. One day I will have to inquire. Anyways, I handed the guy my credit card and advised him I wanted like to fill up. Moments later, I was back at the pump watching the total sale tally upwards. I looked a little to the left and see a small hand-written note, advising customers that credit card purchases pay a slightly higher price per gallon. As there's another gas station across the street, I noted that the credit card price here was still lower than the price across the street so I didn't fret over it. (Please refer to Quirk #22 from previous blog for additional understanding.)

However, as I did a little math in my head (a shocking rare occurrence for me), I quickly realized this tank of gas was going to run me just south of $80. My knees got weak and buckled a little. I felt two beads of sweat racing down opposite sides of my forehead. My heart started to mimic one of my favorite drum-and-bass tracks. I couldn't go through with it. I pulled out faster than a John with no condoms. I used to cringe when my gas receipt would cross $60. How was I going to be able to stomach this?

I paid for my $25 worth of gas and continued home wondering if I can possibly get my hands on a hybrid. There have to be less frightening options out there for me...Zipcar perhaps?!?

...and while I'm on the subject, can someone explain what the deal is with the 9/10 of a cent? Is this just a marketing ploy so you can say gas here is less than $4.08? Do us all a favor and just round up!

For those of you out there who choose not to spend time considering the difference between paying $4.079 and $4.08 per gallon, you're in luck because that's the type of thing I do in my spare time (Tuttafucco Quirk #17). For example, If you're driving an H2, which holds a whopping 32 gallons of fuel, the difference between those two prices when you'd fill up your tank is only $0.03. And since I don't personally know anyone that drives an H2, chances are your gas tank holds about half of that, meaning you'd save about half of that on a full tank.

So Mr. Gas Station Owner, I'm officially pleading with you to quit the shenanigans and the tomfoolery. If you think you're doing us a favor with the 9/10 of a cent, you probably also believe prisoners who employ a couple drops of KY before they anally rape their cell-mate are really looking to reduce the trauma of the experience. Speaking as a consumer of gas, I can tell you it doesn't help!!

So why make a fuss about this for only a penny or two you ask? I think Big Worm said it best: Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions...There's principalities in the whole thing!!

Tuttafucco Quirks #22 thru #25

I've never been a fan of celebrating Hallmark holidays. Instead, I celebrate things that make me feel like an individual. Many would refer to such nuances as Quirks, so in an effort to willingly succumb to the masses, I will do the same.

nb: Alanis thinks it's Ironic that in an effort to demonstrate my individuality, I am, at least in part, succumbing to the masses... and now back to our regularly scheduled program...

Quirk #22: Cash vs. Credit

In my opinion, very few transactions require the use of cash. Many of these transactions are dictated by establishments (or vendors) that simply don't accept credit. As a result, when I see the sticker that denotes that Visa and/or MasterCard are acceptable tender, I not only peruse with greater confidence but I'm also more likely to spend larger sums of money.

Experts would suggest that I concern myself with the potential interest and additional costs incurred over time as I pay off the balance on my credit card(s). But if there's one thing I've learned, you gotta use credit to build credit. So like Betty and Wilma, I chaaaaaaaaaaarge it. And when my balances get out of hand, I simply switch gears and focus on paying off instead of spending. Going through cycles like these has kept me out of financial ruin (to date), and every couple years I'm rewarded (in a sense) with increased credit lines and increased buying power.

Quirk #23: Do it Yourself

There are many things in this world I enjoy having people do for me, but pumping my gas is not one of them. And it's not because I don't trust the guy to give me the amount of gas I asked for. Sometimes I just don't want to commit to purchasing a specific amount of gas. I like to reserve the right to change my mind mid-pump, in case I suddenly realize that I'm no longer in the mood to fill 'er up. There are times when I basically want to put in just enough gas to get me to another station where I know I can find a better deal on the Petrol.

Quirk #24: Can I Get a Receipt?

As you never know when a credit card charge needs to be disputed, I've found that having a copy of the receipt handy, often expedites the dispute process ( in addition to saving you the occasional embarrassment of disputing a legitimate charge). Problem is, sometimes when I press 'YES' for a receipt at the pump, I'm instructed to go inside and obtain the receipt from the cashier. For some reason, I just refuse to do this. I wouldn't consider this laziness, but really a conscious choice to use my time wisely when possible. And when I consider the time spent walking inside, probably having to wait in line, versus the actual likelihood of needing that receipt, it doesn't seem worth it. If I could write-off gas purchases as an expense for work, I'd probably feel differently about this, but since I can't, I don't...

Quirk #25: No Thanks! I'll pass

One day a couple weeks ago, I was in an inexplicable mood for a double burger with cheese and some of the Nuggets you don't have to travel to Denver for. So I wandered my way to the Golden Arches for lunch. On the day in question, I just so happened to not have any small bills on me. (Please don't confuse this with bragging on my part but simply a statement of fact about this particular afternoon as I was preparing for a large, "cash-only" transaction ;). Being without small bills should not have been an issue, as most fast food joints accept credit/debit cards. But as my recent luck would have it, those machines weren't functional that day. So, rather than pull a Chris Rock a la I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, purchasing a couple items off the Dollar Menu before I ask them if they "got change for a hundred?", I walk out and find another fine dining establishment for lunch. Part of it is not wanting to be told they don't accept $100 bills (I tried to tell Biggie - It's Not All About the Benjamins!!). But more importantly, there's just something about buying items off the Dollar Menu and getting $96 as my "change" that just rubs me the wrong way... like I'm misusing what the Dollar Menu was intended for... And for the record, I felt the same way when I was a young and refused to purchase penny candy with anything larger than a five spot (and even then I'd buy enough for the whole block!!)

Now I don't mention these things to say that I'm the only with these types of odd tendencies... I just think there are very few people out there that would share the same approach or opinion as me on most of these issues...

Holla if ya Hear me