Apparently, Fear is a Factor

Let me start by stating that I'm far from the poster-boy for Courage. In fact, that should be reserved for everyday heroes like firemen and police officers that don't make a habit of shooting unarmed civilians. Admittedly, I've been known to be a little squeamish in certain situations, but that doesn't mean my heart pumps Slushie. My point is, there aren't many things in this world that truly frighten me. Last night, I encountered one of these rare things, and let me tell you, it was not a pleasant experience.

It all started on my way home last night when I heard the beep indicating that I have approximately 20 miles of gas before the needle is perfectly in line with the "E". As I was about 25 miles away from my house at the time, I knew I'd be cutting it close. So I applied a little extra pressure to the gas pedal to increase my Miles Per Gallon (while obeying posted speed limits limits of course!) Although I could've stopped at any number of gas stations just off the highway, I know of one a couple miles from my house that consistently has the best price on gas. As I exited the highway, the indicator read 0 MILES LEFT, but I didn't worry, as I knew there's enough in reserves to get me to the gas station.

The only drawback to this station is that you can't pay at the pump. I often wonder if this is what enables them to undercut the competition's prices. One day I will have to inquire. Anyways, I handed the guy my credit card and advised him I wanted like to fill up. Moments later, I was back at the pump watching the total sale tally upwards. I looked a little to the left and see a small hand-written note, advising customers that credit card purchases pay a slightly higher price per gallon. As there's another gas station across the street, I noted that the credit card price here was still lower than the price across the street so I didn't fret over it. (Please refer to Quirk #22 from previous blog for additional understanding.)

However, as I did a little math in my head (a shocking rare occurrence for me), I quickly realized this tank of gas was going to run me just south of $80. My knees got weak and buckled a little. I felt two beads of sweat racing down opposite sides of my forehead. My heart started to mimic one of my favorite drum-and-bass tracks. I couldn't go through with it. I pulled out faster than a John with no condoms. I used to cringe when my gas receipt would cross $60. How was I going to be able to stomach this?

I paid for my $25 worth of gas and continued home wondering if I can possibly get my hands on a hybrid. There have to be less frightening options out there for me...Zipcar perhaps?!?

...and while I'm on the subject, can someone explain what the deal is with the 9/10 of a cent? Is this just a marketing ploy so you can say gas here is less than $4.08? Do us all a favor and just round up!

For those of you out there who choose not to spend time considering the difference between paying $4.079 and $4.08 per gallon, you're in luck because that's the type of thing I do in my spare time (Tuttafucco Quirk #17). For example, If you're driving an H2, which holds a whopping 32 gallons of fuel, the difference between those two prices when you'd fill up your tank is only $0.03. And since I don't personally know anyone that drives an H2, chances are your gas tank holds about half of that, meaning you'd save about half of that on a full tank.

So Mr. Gas Station Owner, I'm officially pleading with you to quit the shenanigans and the tomfoolery. If you think you're doing us a favor with the 9/10 of a cent, you probably also believe prisoners who employ a couple drops of KY before they anally rape their cell-mate are really looking to reduce the trauma of the experience. Speaking as a consumer of gas, I can tell you it doesn't help!!

So why make a fuss about this for only a penny or two you ask? I think Big Worm said it best: Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions...There's principalities in the whole thing!!