Apparently, Fear is a Factor

Let me start by stating that I'm far from the poster-boy for Courage. In fact, that should be reserved for everyday heroes like firemen and police officers that don't make a habit of shooting unarmed civilians. Admittedly, I've been known to be a little squeamish in certain situations, but that doesn't mean my heart pumps Slushie. My point is, there aren't many things in this world that truly frighten me. Last night, I encountered one of these rare things, and let me tell you, it was not a pleasant experience.

It all started on my way home last night when I heard the beep indicating that I have approximately 20 miles of gas before the needle is perfectly in line with the "E". As I was about 25 miles away from my house at the time, I knew I'd be cutting it close. So I applied a little extra pressure to the gas pedal to increase my Miles Per Gallon (while obeying posted speed limits limits of course!) Although I could've stopped at any number of gas stations just off the highway, I know of one a couple miles from my house that consistently has the best price on gas. As I exited the highway, the indicator read 0 MILES LEFT, but I didn't worry, as I knew there's enough in reserves to get me to the gas station.

The only drawback to this station is that you can't pay at the pump. I often wonder if this is what enables them to undercut the competition's prices. One day I will have to inquire. Anyways, I handed the guy my credit card and advised him I wanted like to fill up. Moments later, I was back at the pump watching the total sale tally upwards. I looked a little to the left and see a small hand-written note, advising customers that credit card purchases pay a slightly higher price per gallon. As there's another gas station across the street, I noted that the credit card price here was still lower than the price across the street so I didn't fret over it. (Please refer to Quirk #22 from previous blog for additional understanding.)

However, as I did a little math in my head (a shocking rare occurrence for me), I quickly realized this tank of gas was going to run me just south of $80. My knees got weak and buckled a little. I felt two beads of sweat racing down opposite sides of my forehead. My heart started to mimic one of my favorite drum-and-bass tracks. I couldn't go through with it. I pulled out faster than a John with no condoms. I used to cringe when my gas receipt would cross $60. How was I going to be able to stomach this?

I paid for my $25 worth of gas and continued home wondering if I can possibly get my hands on a hybrid. There have to be less frightening options out there for me...Zipcar perhaps?!?

...and while I'm on the subject, can someone explain what the deal is with the 9/10 of a cent? Is this just a marketing ploy so you can say gas here is less than $4.08? Do us all a favor and just round up!

For those of you out there who choose not to spend time considering the difference between paying $4.079 and $4.08 per gallon, you're in luck because that's the type of thing I do in my spare time (Tuttafucco Quirk #17). For example, If you're driving an H2, which holds a whopping 32 gallons of fuel, the difference between those two prices when you'd fill up your tank is only $0.03. And since I don't personally know anyone that drives an H2, chances are your gas tank holds about half of that, meaning you'd save about half of that on a full tank.

So Mr. Gas Station Owner, I'm officially pleading with you to quit the shenanigans and the tomfoolery. If you think you're doing us a favor with the 9/10 of a cent, you probably also believe prisoners who employ a couple drops of KY before they anally rape their cell-mate are really looking to reduce the trauma of the experience. Speaking as a consumer of gas, I can tell you it doesn't help!!

So why make a fuss about this for only a penny or two you ask? I think Big Worm said it best: Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions...There's principalities in the whole thing!!

A Sunday, May 25th in the Life...

Destination #1 for the day

I haven't seen this many people in one place since the last time I went to see a president-elect "pinch-hit" as a commencement speaker.
Interesting fact of the day: Obama and I are in the same fraternity...
the brotherhood of Alpha Beta Slacka - I'm impressed to learn that he didn't consistently hit the books as hard as he's hit the campaign trail. This gives me hope that there's still time for me to do great things with my life.

Sage advice for a vast array of scenarios...
Not knowing when such advice will next come in handy, I snap a photo
to serve as a visual reminder when that voice whispering in my head
just isn't enough of a deterrent.

Life gets no realer than it does when you feel like an extra in the
type of movie you don't enjoy watching... There's just something about being within 100 yards of top-notch sharp-shooters that makes me a little uneasy.
You know what makes me even more uneasy?
Trying to get a close-up shot (pun intended) of the sharpshooters above me
without giving them cause to snipe me from one of the other rooftops.

This photo is pleading with me to hold a caption contest
but after much deliberation, I refuse...

Nothing But Love for the student protest.
The fine print advises you they not only have the right
but special permission as well...
and suggests if you got beef, you need to familiarize yourself
with the Symbolic Structures Section of the student handbook!!

WOW!! SUSHI PICKED BEST
My only question is...best what???
Best on this side of this street?
Best in Middletown?
Best in Connecticut?
I'm left to wonder if our friends at TCM are telling us these are
the six best dishes at this fine sushi establishment.
Having had it, I can honestly say the sushi was good, but since this was
the first sushi joint I hit in CT, I'm not sure how good it is...
If this banner had an additional descriptive noun,
or perhaps a referential prepositional phrase,
I'd have a little more to go on, enabling me to properly
and accurately promote this eatery.
Lastly, I think it should be standard in ads like this to mention the year.
When it's left out, it's easy to assume 2007,
but makes me equally curious if it could be an award from 2003...

Found this quaint little spot to have dessert en route back to Boston.
Each Patron is allowed to pick 3 books for FREE. What a bargain!?!

Simply Made for Each Other - two Old Speckled Hens

I regret being unable to capture a picture of one of the day's true highlights: the"Middletown Swagger", which was on display throughout the day. I realized that only video could've truly done it justice, as a picture would only serve as a representation of a single frame the swagger. Unfortunately, I haven't had time to play with the recently-downloaded-video-capturing capabilities of my iPhone. (Once I do though, rest assured you'll be able to find my clips on YouTube!!)

This day proved that the recipe for a great time need not include the mass consumption of alcohol. As amazing weather, good company, inspiring speakers, tasty vittles, and a few laughs strewn throughout also get the job done as well.

Thanks for reading. Much obliged!!

Tuttafucco Quirks #22 thru #25

I've never been a fan of celebrating Hallmark holidays. Instead, I celebrate things that make me feel like an individual. Many would refer to such nuances as Quirks, so in an effort to willingly succumb to the masses, I will do the same.

nb: Alanis thinks it's Ironic that in an effort to demonstrate my individuality, I am, at least in part, succumbing to the masses... and now back to our regularly scheduled program...

Quirk #22: Cash vs. Credit

In my opinion, very few transactions require the use of cash. Many of these transactions are dictated by establishments (or vendors) that simply don't accept credit. As a result, when I see the sticker that denotes that Visa and/or MasterCard are acceptable tender, I not only peruse with greater confidence but I'm also more likely to spend larger sums of money.

Experts would suggest that I concern myself with the potential interest and additional costs incurred over time as I pay off the balance on my credit card(s). But if there's one thing I've learned, you gotta use credit to build credit. So like Betty and Wilma, I chaaaaaaaaaaarge it. And when my balances get out of hand, I simply switch gears and focus on paying off instead of spending. Going through cycles like these has kept me out of financial ruin (to date), and every couple years I'm rewarded (in a sense) with increased credit lines and increased buying power.

Quirk #23: Do it Yourself

There are many things in this world I enjoy having people do for me, but pumping my gas is not one of them. And it's not because I don't trust the guy to give me the amount of gas I asked for. Sometimes I just don't want to commit to purchasing a specific amount of gas. I like to reserve the right to change my mind mid-pump, in case I suddenly realize that I'm no longer in the mood to fill 'er up. There are times when I basically want to put in just enough gas to get me to another station where I know I can find a better deal on the Petrol.

Quirk #24: Can I Get a Receipt?

As you never know when a credit card charge needs to be disputed, I've found that having a copy of the receipt handy, often expedites the dispute process ( in addition to saving you the occasional embarrassment of disputing a legitimate charge). Problem is, sometimes when I press 'YES' for a receipt at the pump, I'm instructed to go inside and obtain the receipt from the cashier. For some reason, I just refuse to do this. I wouldn't consider this laziness, but really a conscious choice to use my time wisely when possible. And when I consider the time spent walking inside, probably having to wait in line, versus the actual likelihood of needing that receipt, it doesn't seem worth it. If I could write-off gas purchases as an expense for work, I'd probably feel differently about this, but since I can't, I don't...

Quirk #25: No Thanks! I'll pass

One day a couple weeks ago, I was in an inexplicable mood for a double burger with cheese and some of the Nuggets you don't have to travel to Denver for. So I wandered my way to the Golden Arches for lunch. On the day in question, I just so happened to not have any small bills on me. (Please don't confuse this with bragging on my part but simply a statement of fact about this particular afternoon as I was preparing for a large, "cash-only" transaction ;). Being without small bills should not have been an issue, as most fast food joints accept credit/debit cards. But as my recent luck would have it, those machines weren't functional that day. So, rather than pull a Chris Rock a la I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, purchasing a couple items off the Dollar Menu before I ask them if they "got change for a hundred?", I walk out and find another fine dining establishment for lunch. Part of it is not wanting to be told they don't accept $100 bills (I tried to tell Biggie - It's Not All About the Benjamins!!). But more importantly, there's just something about buying items off the Dollar Menu and getting $96 as my "change" that just rubs me the wrong way... like I'm misusing what the Dollar Menu was intended for... And for the record, I felt the same way when I was a young and refused to purchase penny candy with anything larger than a five spot (and even then I'd buy enough for the whole block!!)

Now I don't mention these things to say that I'm the only with these types of odd tendencies... I just think there are very few people out there that would share the same approach or opinion as me on most of these issues...

Holla if ya Hear me

A Night to Remember...if only I could

The date had been earmarked in my iPhone calendar for months - May 17th. A perfect storm of causes for celebration collided, bringing together an array of individuals unified by one common goal...to meet new folks, let your hair down, and party the night away (well I guess that makes three but who's really counting?!?)



The night started off like many other parties I've been to before... Meet some new people (sometimes for the second time)... Get a few drinks in you and next thing you know you're discussing the benefits and drawbacks of crack addiction...

You can't help but acknowledge that you heart those who heart new york...

Next, you're overcome with this feeling that there aren't enough strangers at this party for you to become acquainted with. So you try on your Uninvited Guest hat and travel a few houses down the street, where another fiesta is popping off. While there, you pocket some cans of PBR and marvel at the marine ecosystem being projected onto the back of the house. Being ever careful to not overstay your welcome, you quickly stumble back to the original crime scene...

Upon your return you suddenly

find yourself in another dimension

a dimension where party-goers have no qualms
taking huge bites out of over-sized onions...

You meet an iPhone Goddess
Get a crash course on hacking

Things that were previously crystal clear
begin to seem a little fuzzy

and compositions like this
make perfect sense at the time
but later transform into challenging puzzles
for a sober mind

Unfortunately, this is the part of the night where my phone went off on it's own, apparently unhappy with the lowly connotations of wingman status. And here I thought it liked being the designated memory recorder. If I had sooner realized it wanted numbers to call it's own, I would've hooked it up with some of the cute phones I saw chilling at the party.

According to eyeball witness accounts
you lead the charge to down shots
of Coconut Lemongrass Saki
You sincerely wish you could remember
how good it was...

Much more happened as the night progressed
(only some of which I can personally attest to)
but under the advice of my lawyer
I plead the fizzifth...

until next time ladies and germs

CAN WE PRETEND: as featured on the soundtrack to My Life

Can We Pretend

Can we pretend
That from now on
There is no yesterday
Paint a portrait of tomorrow
With no colors from today

Chorus:
There’s a light that shines in your face sometimes
That takes my feelings and wraps them around your need
But there’s a shadow hiding in your heart sometimes
That makes my feelings turn back in on me

Can we pretend
The pain is gone
And go our merry way
Paint a portrait of tomorrow
With the colors bright and gay

Repeat Chorus

–Bill Withers

(click on picture for YouTube clip)

@~~~~<<

Ever Onwards
Ever Upwards
Learn from the past
Build for your future
Plan for the worse
Hope for the best
Imagine & make it reality
Sounds simple
don’t it?!?

Wait to greet fate
Control your own destiny
Come so far yet many more moons to travel
Hope to see you there too

yes
you
talk soon
curious to listen
much to say

-Sincerity

Happy Anniversary AI!!!

6 years ago today, role model extraordinaire for young basketball thugs across the nation, gave one of the most memorable press conferences of my lifetime...

"I supposed to be the franchise player and we in here talking about practice?!?
what are we talking about...practice?
we talking about practice, man...we talking bout practice...
it's funny to me too..."

The last line really sums it up: How the hell can I make my teammates better by practicing?

We Love You AI, especially cuz you were rocking the old school Red Sox hat in this clip that will forever be immortalized on YouTube!!

To: Doc@BostonCeltics.com

Dear Doc,

Let me start by congratulating you on winning your first playoff series ever as a coach. Getting that first one out of the way is such pressure. I remember when I popped my cherry (referring to my premier blog of course)... I believe my performance suffered because I was primarily concerned with getting it over with. I didn't care about the strategerie of the X's and O's, or the possibility of getting injured or worse... I rushed my way through it. I needed the proverbial monkey off my back. I knew with enough time, practice and repetition, my confidence would grow and my audience would be increasingly pleased as I chased after the coveted ring. My resume's currently looking pretty solid: some kudos, a few pats on the back, a 'thank you' note with a hint of eau de toilette, a little constructive feedback, some comments, but no complaints (at least not to my face).

Anyways, my point is, this was your first time. And being compassionate about what that felt like for me, I'm willing to cut you some slack and give you a pass. However, I'm still going to take a moment to advise you how I'd prefer to see things go down in the future. My development would have been exponentially faster if I had received some feedback after my first venture. Rather than rattle off 10 things I think you should've done differently, I'm going to focus on the easiest and possibly the most egregious.

Should you once again find yourself coaching a do-or-die Game 7, whereby you're up by more than 30 points in the middle of the 3rd quarter and the opposing team has not even scored 30 points yet - I urge you to more quickly get your franchise players (as well as your starters) out of the game. Forget that Game 1 of the next series would begin in approximately 48 hours and your team should have been already resting at home for a couple days, praying for an upset. Instead, I request you pay closer attention to how increasingly physical the series had become, and how a guy, who has no legitimate business being on the court, can end up in the middle of something random with a 1- or 2-game suspension (or worse)...Now I'm not saying some fan was gonna toss a beer and Scalabrine was gonna run up in the stands...I just think there are times in life where you should err on the side of caution.

If you don't have the confidence that your second team is able to hold a 32-point lead for a quarter-and-a-half against the 16th seed in the playoffs, then I'm unsure how you would expect them to be able to play in a close game because one of your All-Stars was in foul trouble. And don't get me wrong Doc, I completely agree with your decision to bring the starters out for the second half to make sure the game has been put away and out of reach. But when you see Rondo get slammed to the ground on an unfortunate play, that was probably the first sign to get them out. This isn't baseball where you exact your revenge in the next half-inning. The next clue may have been when both Garnett and Ray Ray successively dove for a loose ball with about 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. Mind you, your team was up by 34 at the time!! But I don't blame them, they're not supposed to turn it off because they've doubled up the opponent's score (plus 2) with a little more than 1 frame left. Players wanna play... Coaches wanna coach!! It's your responsibility to know when to pull them.

Lastly, I've seen some absolutely miraculous comebacks but I must admit that when they happen, you at least have a little feeling inside that makes you think it's possible. And honestly, that feeling was nowhere to be found yesterday.

In closing Doc, I suggest you YouTube some footage of Red Auerbach, and get a feel for when he knew when it was safe to light up his cigar. Because although you can no longer smoke in "The Garden", KG and Pierce should have long hit the showers to replicate what I was doing...enjoying a lit one as I watched the 4th quarter.


Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or need any additional information.

Sincerely,

A. Concerned Fan

New Features for True Teachers

INNOVATION: in·no·va·tion

Pronunciation: \ˌi-nə-ˈvā-shən\

Function: noun

1 : the introduction of something new

2 : a new idea, method, or device

Source: m-w.com

Innovation may not quite be the right word but I really like that it's made up of two smaller words : namely INN and OVATION. Defining these words individually and recombining them gives us (an establishment for lodging an expression of praise). Therefore, trying new things gives others a place (or opportunity) to communicate admiration (or criticism).

So knock yourselves out! And when you wake up, let me know what thoughts came to mind about my blog while you were counting sheep...

The first new feature I'd like to point out is the What I was Just Listening to... feed from my Last.fm profile. This chart on the right-hand side of the blog will display what was recently playing in my iTunes, and is one of the many charts available via last.fm. For those not familiar with this site, it basically tracks (and charts) the music you listen to. It will recommend artists for you based on your taste (which is how I recently found out about Teedra Moses - see my April 30th blog entry). It's also a "community" site, so I've become "friends" with people in various parts of the world that happen to enjoy the same types of music as me. Pretty cool...if you're a nerd like me that appreciates these types of things...I'm registered under tuttafucco (surprise!!) if you have an account or decide to register and want to link up with me. Clicking on the link to my profile will take you to my page and allow you to see the weekly, monthly, and overall charts for the artists and songs I've been listening to.

The next blog feature I'd like you to feast your eyes on is the poll section...Pretty Self-Explanatory If You Ask Me...But you're not so I'll explain it briefly: currently, I'm curious to hear feedback about certain Toujours Tuttafucco genres that folks are interested to see/hear/read more of, in addition to ascertaining the level of interest in seemingly pointless surveys (though I can assure you every single word, post and song reference in this blog has a purpose and will speak to at least one of my faithful readers). If you wish to simply see me reach into the depths of my creativity cavity, be sure to check off the Other TBD box.

On deck is not quite a new feature, though the links are likely to change over time as I find additional noteworthy blogs "I Wish I Spawned". If you're at all a Sox fan and have ever been passionate about anything in your life, you'll no doubt enjoy and relate to RedSoxDirtyWater. If you're looking for "irregular reviews of books you never planned to read", look no further than BitterlyBooks. Personally, I rarely plan to read books, so it's a pretty safe bet any book reviewed in this blog is not on my to-read list. Notwithstanding, these reviews make me curious enough to add some of the books to my hope-to-read-someday list. Last but not least is ApostropheCatastrophe. Bad punctuation is all around us. And for those unable to slow down long enough to notice, when you have a moment, you can take a breather and peruse this blog for some good chuckles...

I've also enabled Anonymous-comment-leaving capabilities, for those wishing to have their voice heard but not bad enough to get a Google account. Or perhaps you simply don't want anyone else to know how much you adore my blog. Don't worry, it'll be our little secret...To celebrate this newfound option, I'm holding a contest, whereby the individual that comments on the most number of blogs by the end of 2008 will be awarded a very special, personalized prize from yours truly. Note: Mr. and/or Mrs. Anonymous will not be eligible for the special prize, as they have already notified me of their intention to conspire and take credit for a variety of comments that other people make.

In closing, I'd like to thank all those who have thus far taken the time to read my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and ramblings posted on this blog...There's plenty more where they came from...it really means a lot to me, and I hope to continue coming up with new ideas, as I try to find my way thru this crazy life and even crazier blogosphere...

Holla if ya Hear me!!!